Parent Support
Parents: A Better Conversation After Competition
An immediate technical breakdown after a difficult competition can turn a car ride into another evaluation setting instead of a supportive relationship. Try the original IBE Choice-First Post-Game Conversation exercise, with complete steps and research references.
An immediate technical breakdown after a difficult competition can turn a car ride into another evaluation setting instead of a supportive relationship.
This free IBE Performance guide gives parents and guardians a practical 12-minute starting point. The routine is an original IBE instructional application, not a clinical treatment, validated instrument or guarantee of a performance outcome.
What the research supports—and what it does not
Self-determination theory identifies autonomy, competence and relatedness as relevant to motivation and functioning. The research does not imply that one conversation script treats anxiety or guarantees sport retention.
Research provides a rationale for testing a skill in context; it does not prove that this exact IBE exercise, timing, scoring method or audience adaptation has been experimentally validated.
The free IBE Choice-First Post-Game Conversation exercise | 12 minutes
Choose a calm moment. Agree in advance that performance feedback is optional and that urgent safety or health concerns are handled appropriately.
Run the entire practice below before deciding whether additional coaching would be useful. No login, purchase, scorecard or assessment is required for this starter exercise.
- Begin with connection rather than statistics. A simple question works: 'What would you like from me right now?'
- Offer a choice: quiet time, a supportive conversation, or practical help with the next day.
- If the athlete chooses to discuss sport, ask about one controllable action they felt good about and one thing they might rehearse.
- Reflect what you heard without labeling the child resilient, soft, mentally weak or overconfident.
- Close the conversation and return to ordinary family life. Leave technical correction to the agreed coaching context.
Apply it to a real performance scenario
A teenager has played badly in a tournament and is visibly frustrated. The parent does not demand a lesson or impose a mental skills drill while the athlete is upset.
In rehearsal, change only one variable at a time where practical. The aim is to observe the planned response, not to manufacture extreme pressure.
What to record
Notice whether the athlete reports feeling heard and whether the agreed timing was respected. Do not secretly score the child's emotional response or share private notes without permission.
Record what happened, what you intended to do and one specific adjustment for the next practice. Protect participant confidentiality; do not put identifying client or student notes into a public form.
A seven-day transfer plan
At a neutral time, ask which kinds of support the athlete wants before, during and after future events.
Day 1: establish a normal baseline. Days 2–4: rehearse the cue or handoff in short, safe blocks. Days 5–6: practice one realistic variation. Day 7: compare adherence and task results, ask for participant feedback and keep only adjustments that make sense in context.
Safety, scope and limitations
If a child expresses persistent distress, safety concerns or signs of harm, seek appropriate qualified support rather than applying this script as treatment.
IBE Performance provides performance education and coaching, not psychotherapy, medical assessment or crisis care. Consult appropriately qualified local professionals where scope, safeguarding or legal requirements apply.
Research sources and original-work disclosure
The publications below inform the underlying principles. The examples, sequence, scripts, rehearsal design and informal observation measures on this page are original IBE Performance educational adaptations. They have not been clinically validated or presented as tests created by the cited researchers.
Frequently Asked Questions
Mental Performance Coaching FAQ
Is this exercise free?
Yes. The complete starter practice and cited reading are public. No assessment is required.
Is this a tested IBE clinical protocol?
No. It is an original, research-informed educational drill. It is not a diagnostic, therapeutic or psychometrically validated intervention.
What is available to members?
Depending on eligible access, members can use personalized or assigned training materials, completion records and supported coaching resources inside the authenticated IBE portal.
See It in Your Performance Profile
Build a response for your actual performance environment.
Start with a focused consultation to discuss your specific situation, determine fit, and identify the right next step. If measurement would add useful evidence, an assessment can follow the conversation.
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